Noisy Neighbors

I lit my candles, took out a book, and snuggled into bed around 10 PM. It had been a busy day at work, and I was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I read for a bit, then blew out the candles and closed my eyes. Just as I was drifting away, it started. The loud squawking, the conversation.. it was piercing to the ear. I wrapped my blanket around my head in hopes that the friction would drown out the noise. Nope. As it neared midnight, enough was enough. But what do you do when your noisy neighbors are.... birds. Yes, birds. F-ing Nocturnal birds.

What on earth are they doing up all night? Since when do birds come out when it's cold and stay up all night talking? Had they flown back from their winter vacation already? Were the parent birds out of the nest for the night, so the teenager birds had a party? I have no idea.. All I know is that it didn't stop. The clock went from midnight, to 1, to 2, to 3 AM... and still the squawking. I grew extremely frustrated. Birds in Connecticut did not stay up all night. They tucked in their baby birds as the sun went down, and kept their beaks closed until the human world began to stir again. But no, not Cali birds.

I started to move from room to room to see if the noise grew fainter. The noise was just as prominent downstairs on all of the couches. I tried the couch, another couch, and secretly wished I lived in a house that did not believe in gun control. By this time it was nearing 4 am, and just when I was about to turn on the tube and drown my sleepless woes in infomercials, I remembered... you couldn't hear anything from my mothers room. The soothing lullaby of her window fan drowned out any noises from the outside world. Score! I opened the door, crept in, and listened for a moment. No birds.

I pulled down the covers and got into bed, and just as my brain started visualizing sugar plums, I heard another noise, and remembered. The rumbling, grumbling, earth shattering snores that came from the woman next to me--Ohhhhh yes... I had almost forgotten. Infomercials it is. Maybe I'll see the one with the foot pad that turns brown.

Maybe the birds were up all night complaining about their noisy neighbor.