This post, modeled slightly after "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days" is about a real woman's quest (mine!) to find a normal, sports-minded, not easily intimidated, and dare I say..somewhat good-looking... date for the Dodger/Angels game in May. Now as much as I love the dates I've had for my past venues out here in CA... the guy who argued with me about everything, the guy who said I "made him nervous", the guy who my friends and I think might be gay, and the guy who was addicted to drugs and fell off the face of the planet... I definitely feel that they were definitely not up to caliber and since these are going to be great seats to a fantastic game, I'd like to find a person who is at least one step up from the disasters I've met out here so far. It's not every day that I get to see my hero, Joe Torre, up close and personal, so I must go through a pretty extensive screening process and I only have two weeks or so in which to weed out the bad from the good. Presently, I have the following options:
1. Bars. Happy Hours which host a nice beer special and have big screens in all areas of sight playing either the NBA playoffs or a baseball game. I know if I just open my mouth, I can find someone there.
2. Finally let my friend set me up with her friend she's been bragging about. Even though I'm not a fan of blind-dates or set-ups, maybe the stars will be in line and the gods in my favor that fateful day.
3. Wear a sign. I had thought of crafting up a very colorful, maybe even delightfully written and polite sign that I could wear while I stand on the side of the street with a bell. Better yet, I can wear nothing underneath that sign. If that's the case, I could probably ditch the bell.
4. Personal Ads. Craigslist, Yahoo, you name it. SWF seeks SWM with at least half a brain and baseball knowledge to attend Dodger/Angel game. No intelligent conversation necessary.
5. Hit up all the tattoo parlors in HB. Lord knows these places are crawling with men, since it is very unlikely to see a man walking down Main Street without at least a full sleeve.
6. Ask an ex-boyfriend from hell to come out for the evening. He will most likely complain about every aspect of the trip, but I think if I buy an extra-large case of heavy duty duct tape, we should be OK.
7. Call the guy who argued with me about everything, the guy who said I made him "nervous", the guy who we all think is gay, or the druggie who fell off the face of the earth. Guy #1 would just boo for every player I liked; Guy #2 would crawl into the fetal position and cry every time I spoke; Guy #3 would hold my hand but all the while be checking out Napoli's package; Guy #4 would get up to go to the bathroom and never return. Hey, more space in the car on the way home.
8. GO ALONE. I could possibly do this. That way, I could go crazy every time Joe Torre showed his face, eat as many hot dogs as my heart desires, use the extra seat for storage, and sing "take me out to the ball game" as loud as I can, horrible voice and all.
I will keep everyone updated on this quest. In the meantime, go Dodgers ;-)
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